A breakup is not the only way to make some room. Withdrawing from the person without removing them from your life helps you stay kind while respecting your desire to change things. It is important to fight fairly and reconcile after an argument. In good, productive arguments, both people can say what they have in mind without feeling condemned, ridiculed, or offended. Arguments happen, even between good friends. After that, you can`t expect to solve things right away. But don`t lose sight of the fact that you both love each other. Psychology experts share their advice on how to deal with a best friend`s explosion. When I realize that I am upset and try to hear the words that are being said to me as they are, without my continuous mental comment, things present themselves much more clearly.
After I got home, I was a little ashamed to argue with my boyfriend about a problem so stupid that I could have easily solved it in a much calmer way. I texted him at night and asked him to meet me the next night. I also informed other friends who were ready to join the tour and we had a much friendlier discussion at the time. One of the friends suggested we do the tour in Australia where he has his parents and friends. He also suggested that we talk to our parents about our goal and not settle it until our parents give their advice and consent. Sometimes friends in a friendship may feel unhappy. This can happen for a variety of reasons, but jealousy and the feeling that someone else (another friend or romantic partner) is coming between you and your boyfriend are both common. Working through these difficult feelings is an important part of healthy friendships. These things never help solve a problem and ultimately cause more harm to everyone involved. These include ultimatums, shouting, threats to cut off friendship, insults and personal attacks. It`s true. Even best friends sometimes argue.
But how can they restore their harmony? As with most interpersonal problems, psychologists recommend a heart-to-heart conversation. However, not all disputes should or should be corrected immediately. From the beginning, identify the situation that is causing a problem and that you want to change, and then express how you feel: “I prefer that people talk to me quietly and not scream.” Find out with your friend what can be changed to keep your relationship healthy and respectful. Tell your friend what you think of the problem: anger, sadness, disappointment, etc. Psychotherapist Johanna Thuenker says she often sees pseudo-friendships in her practice. If one of the two goes through a crisis of life, the “friendship” disintegrates. I found myself blaming my boyfriend unjustifiably instead of openly admitting that something had hurt me and made me feel vulnerable. “You also need to understand that you can have different opinions while still being friends,” he says.
Also ask yourself if you have the right perspective to deal with the possible consequences. Start small: Don`t call or text your friend as often as before. If they still want to talk a lot, answer every other time. You can also reduce the time you spend together or try to spend time in a group so that they are not just the two of you. Talk about yourself and how you feel throughout the discussion using “I” without blaming or judging the other person. Your friend will react much better if you say, “I find this hard to believe” rather than “You`re a liar”! When you recognize that someone is angry or hurt, you can better understand the sharp or harsh words that can result. You can choose to help them manage their emotions or let them regain their composure to talk another time. Look at the other person`s point of view. As your friend speaks, listen carefully to understand where they`re from.
When you look at the conflict, put yourself in their shoes. When you do this, think about how they feel rather than how you feel or why you think they were wrong. Avoid being an accuser during your conversation. Describe the situation from your point of view and also how you feel. This allows your friend to see your point of view. Participate in the resolution of the conflict. Show that you are open and interested in learning more about your friend`s position and that you want to work with them to find solutions and reconciliation. After a long period of self-learning, I found some tips to communicate effectively during a conflict. If you`ve decided that a friendship just doesn`t work, you may feel the urge to end it formally or dramatically. This can be especially tempting if you`re angry with your friend and want them to leave your life. Last summer, I had a big disagreement with one of my closest friends about a trip we wanted to go to. It was shortly after the final exam of our university that a friend of ours suggested planning a trip.
We had planned to visit a foreign country and have the tour for about two weeks. The disagreement arose with Jonathon when he suggested visiting Mexico, when I preferred to travel to England. Identify the problem. Find out the main problem that triggered the fight. This may be more than it seems. For example, they may be upset because you said the wrong thing, even if they were already upset because you spent time with another friend the night before. Jonathon may have reasons to visit Mexico, but I preferred to visit a place far from our home country and enjoy the tranquility and rich heritage of England. I argued that the majority of the other friends agreed to visit England and that the sudden change in plan would discourage many of them from joining us. I also tried to convince him that Mexico would be too exotic a place for us and less interesting for travel. He seemed determined enough to go to Mexico and completely relentless to listen to my reasons.
After an hour of argument, frustration and disunity, I told him that I would not travel to Mexico in any way. My friend insisted that we have an unusual visit and an unknown experience of this tour. I admitted that his opinion was reasonable, but we should appreciate the opinion of other friends before we fight. As he continued to argue, I became angry and frustrated and left his house that day. Take the time to talk to your friend and understand their point of view. If it is a small misunderstanding, you will surely find a solution together. However, if it`s a big disagreement, you may need to assess how important the relationship is to you and whether you`re willing to make an effort to maintain it. The friend I argued with is the best.
It challenges me to broaden my perspective. It relentlessly prevents me from settling down and expecting too little from life. He keeps pushing me out of the nest when I get too comfortable. Being friends doesn`t mean you`ll never argue. Disagreeing can be a sign of a healthy relationship, especially if it`s done with respect. What you shouldn`t do, however, is agree with your friend when you disagree – just for peace. .